Thursday, April 30, 2009

bul-ly - a noun and a verb

Why is it that all of us have at one time chosen this behavior. Children do it often. Where do they learn it? I did it as a child and yet did not learn it in my home. Is it a learned behavior or is it inherent within?

I find it curious that whenever there are three kids playing, two unite and snicker and jeer at the third. We all have been on either side of this coin. I am just curious as to why we choose to behave this way.

I have pondered this recently and have come up with a couple of theories. It occurs to me, through only my experience, that this behavior becomes manifest when people feel threatened and therefore frightened. It starts with one and then usually the one entices the other or others to join. Why are the by standers so easily enticed. Why does this make them feel good? Maybe it just kills fear.

From my experience I have been on both sides. Fortunately, when I graduated High School I made a commitment to hold in my consciousness this "tendency" and attempt not to manifest it. Being a bully or engaging in bully behavior did no longer dispel my fear or feelings of inadequacy and therefore no pay off. The more I and the people in my environment became self aware the less tendency to bully thus more tendency to respect.

Having my own children and watching one be bullied I became aware of the universiality of the practice. I even went so far as to make amends to as many children (now adults) that I behaved badly towards. It hurt me more to see my child bullied than it ever did me. Having my child bullied was the easiest and most permanent way to curb the tendency and eventually omit the behavior all together.

Maybe that is why when I observe the behavior either being the brunt of it or as a non participant observer it still pushes my cellular memory buttons.

I again apologize, to those offended, for that behavior in my past. It saddens me that I still have to be reminded of its existence. Maybe there should be a foundation for the eradication of bully behavior.

Blogger design by